Today, my wife and I are celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary!
This is a great milestone. Would you like to know my secret for a sucessful marriage? I used a long-lasting love potion on my wife, making her think that she loves me. Not really, but I don’t have a good understanding if why she’s stuck with me.
After 10 years, I thought I would have figured it all out. But I seem to know less now than I did when we got married. The reality is that I’m realizing how much I don’t know, even though how much I do know is increasing.
Here’s a couple things I’ve learned (and still need to work on):
1. Communication – Communication is probably one of the greatest needs in a marriage. Both partners need to communicate. Communication is a two-way street. It doesn’t work if only one is trying.
2. Selflessness – Don’t be selfish. I’ve known too many people that get married and then they just do what they want to do. Rule: Consider the other person first. Put their needs ahead of yours. It’s not always easy, but it makes for a much better relationship.
3. Forgiveness – It’s inevitable: your spouce is going to mess up. You’re going to mess up, too. Don’t let bitterness start to grow. Forgive your spouce! Along with that – apologize for what you’ve done (or, haven’t done). It’s not always easy, and some things take longer (and maybe counselling) to fully get over, but work at it.
4. Say “I love you” – Maybe it’s been since your wedding day, and they may look at you funny, but tell your spouse that you love them. My wife and I have probably said it enough to last a lifetime, but it’s not slowing us down. (I have a story about this, and I may share it in the comments.)
Question: Have you learned anything about making your marriage better?
Be intentional with time together. Over the past few years, my wife and I have been pretty good about having a weekly date night. We also make it a point to get away once or twice a year for a night or two without the kids. It’s so important to make time to connect with each other.
We would love a weekly date night! Our schedule is so crazy that we’d settle for a monthly date night 🙂 Should get better in a few months. We’re hoping to take a weekend with just the two of us this summer, too.
Hey Josh,
Congrats on your 10 years! Well done my friend! Bravo! Applause!!!
I totally agree with you – after 13 years of marriage, in my case, I have to say the same: I have no idea sometimes how to keep things alive. Our roughest year of marriage has been the last one, and I think the main cause has been falling into routines with each other.
We are at home together, but we aren’t really together. Like Jon mentions below: be intentional about your time together.
Now we’re working through a book about marriage together, and the discussions and insights into each other have been wonderful.
I’ve also been working hard to be ‘quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger.’ For me, this has been the most helpful.
And also have someone more mature in their marriage available for help when you have no idea how to resolve something. That has saved us a time or two….
Congrats again on your anniversary, my friend! May God bless you with a lifetime more.
Thanks, Aaron. I appreciate you sharing these tips. My wife and I work different shifts, plus she is going to school and I am starting my web design business. We’re taking whatever time we can together, but the hard work now should create a better life for us when we make these transitions.
Congratulations on the 10 Years!!
One thing I believe that has been critical in keeping my marriage successful is spending time together whenever possible. We would try to do as much as possible together like watching kids sports practice, grocery shopping, etc. So many times you don’t see a husband and wife toghether very often because of all the things going on, so we felt it was best to do as much together as possible.
Time is vital! We don’t get as much as we would like, but we try to make time.